Pick Up, Success, and Real Social Dynamics


Walking into the Real Social Dynamics Free Tour (RSD) was more than a little uncomfortable for me. I was suddenly in a position where I was the only woman. I felt more isolated here than when I was the only person from the States in an entire Punjabi town.

To be clear, I am not a very feminine woman. That night I was rocking my undercut, joggers, and flannel button-up, but despite the fact that I largely blended into this room full of men, I still felt like meat.

Almost everyone there was better dressed, taller, and were on a mission to ‘get some.’ I was dragged to the room by circumstance and a need to know what this program was that was changing a good friends life.

It didn’t take long to realize that the message wasn’t awful. It wasn’t about the manipulation we tend to think Pick-up is — scripted lines and psychological triggers — RSD was talking about how to achieve its name: Real Social Dynamics. It was about learning how you can set the energy in the room to achieve your goals. In this context, the goal was to get the girl.

RSD was about taking the awkward you, and freeing it of the social constructs that keep us from talking freely with the people we want to talk to. Boiled down to it’s simplest form RSD was about teaching you how you could have the confidence to get what you want.

The free tour taught us about charisma and how much more enjoyable life is when we aren’t burying that charisma for the sake of being the stoic aloof person society says we should be. It was enjoying ourselves so much that we could do conventionally ‘stupid’ things and make other people want to join in.

On the stage were three of the biggest wigs in the Game and all three of them were talking about how they were able to create friendships with men as well as women because of the skills they learned in Pick-up. They talked of immediate rapport, extra coupons, and business success because of the authenticity they could display.

Sitting in that room, it was pretty clear RSD was teaching a crazy amount of wonderful things. Things that apply to not only men trying to get women, but to people just trying to live their lives. It’s something for a group to dedicate themselves to making men more enjoyable to be around not just for other people but for the men themselves.

Life is so much better when you enjoy yourself.

At the same time, the ultimate goal — a ‘body’ nearly every night — that drove men to stick with getting Game was bizarre to me. And the way the whole mission was portrayed was borderline demeaning.

In that room, women were something to be earned with your powerful charm and their anatomy was described as the only reason you wanted to get to know them — you have to make sure you don’t act like that’s the only reason though… women don’t like that.

Sure, the speakers would talk about the applications of this in long term relationships as well, but none of the 40-year-old men leading the thing were in a long term relationship. They had kids and girlfriends 20 years younger than them.

The guys I talked to afterward talked of their ‘body count’ of over 35 and quantified someone’s Game by the number of girls they got to bed in a month.

In that room, I was a number to be lauded, not a person to be considered.

To backtrack a bit, it wasn’t entirely clear what offended me initially. Everything was consensual. The men in the room weren’t planning on going out and taking anyone against their will. The point was to have enough Game that you could get women to want to have sex with you; if you can’t get a woman, then you don’t have Game.

Clearly, there are enough women out there who are interested in banging men to make this a really successful company. I don’t have an issue with people being sexually woke. Also, the goal wasn’t to manipulate people into sex, it was to build mutual attraction and mutual desire.

At the same time, there was a pervasive mindset that women were a conquest, and ultimately an item to be used. More specifically, a hole.

The story of RSD isn’t clear cut. The pervading theory among feminists is that men are trying to ‘hack’ the female psyche so they can hypnotize them into a banging session in the back of their van. That’s not it. For men, it’s just a woke place trying to harness men’s sexual energy to propel them forward in life. That’s not the whole story either.

The company has a lot to say that I would love to take in. Do I want to break through my fear of other people and just enjoy myself? Umm, let me think… YES. Do I want to communicate my passion for life? Yeah, duh. Do I want to bring value to my relationships? 100%. For these things, I will watch RSD videos, because it’s pretty clear that the approach works.

At the same time, I don’t think I have to have a theory of men that makes them only worth their dick to do that.

Blogger, traveler, and sporadic decision making enthusiast. Passionate pursuer of understanding. https://desotaelianna.wixsite.com/eliannadesota

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store